As Quinn and I were playing outside in Oklahoma (while visiting family), he made a comment about how he wished I played with him more. I explained that I thought I did play with him a lot and that I play with him more than lots of moms I know (trying to make myself feel better). I named a few moms and he stopped me and said, "That's because they have..." He stopped short and wouldn't continue. I kept urging him to finish his sentence and he finally said, "That's because they have sisters & brothers that aren't special needs."
That hurt so much, so deep within me that I cannot describe the pain. Almost took my breath away. What should I have said? It is true. It is like we are raising two only children. They have to share their parents and their stuff but they don't play with each other, entertain each other, keep each other company.
I know this is the beginning of a long God-given journey. Some days I want to cry out, "It's not fair!!!!" Some days I do cry out, "It's not fair." Those are the words of my heart. The words of my mind are that God knows what he is doing. There is a greater purpose to our situation (and the situation of others like ours).
Sometimes I feel so inept.
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Your whole family has been on my heart heavy for the past week. Know that I still consider you my family in CO and am constantly telling people about the amazing Cunningham family. I love and miss you all!
Miss Jessica
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