I Need a Cell Phone like Yours!!!

Last night, Quinn was sitting on our bed after reading the Bible. We talked about how he hadn't talked to his grandparents in a while and how that might make them sad. This is when he announced (he's 5), "I need my own cell phone." I said to Joe, "Did you hear that????" I said to Quinn, "Did my 5 year old just tell me that he needed a cell phone?" Of course, I was laughing. Quinn, in all seriousness, continued, "I need one just like yours Mom." Okay...so my 5 year old not only needs his own cell phone...he needs a Blackberry Curve. I have my favorite five on my phone. They show up in a little circle on the front of my phone with photos. I have my mom & dad, Joe's phone, Carrie's house, My Gym and our house on there. I have unlimited minutes to these five numbers. Quinn told us he would replace My Gym with Grandma Nancy.

I think the bottom line is that Quinn wants to call his grandparents but feels he can only do so if he has in own cell phone!

I made him a phone list in an "address book" just for Quinn. This will have to do for now! Don't be surprised if you get a call from Quinn but...in the meanwhile, give him a call. Unfortunately, you will have to use our home phone number :).

To be Adored

Some friends of ours got back from Ethiopia this weekend. They adopted two small children. Lisa blogged about a little girl that they had met while there. They gave her a teddy bear. She said it was so incredibly heart-breaking to watch this little girl, teddy bear in hand, waving good-bye to them with tears streaming down her tiny face. The little girl is deaf and she has watched so many adopted children leave with their new families but she is always rejected because of her disabilities (thankfully she is being adopted by a special education teacher and her husband). She will no longer have to watch the kids go as she is left behind. Imagine the pain in her little heart.

This story really affected me. As I sit here sobbing, I wonder if I am crying for this little girl or for my own little girl who is passed over and rejected every day of her life. I know it is totally different but in some ways I feel that Chloe feels that same rejection because she is different. So many times she has been locked out of Quinn's room when he has friends over or she hears, "LEAVE ME ALONE or STOP IT" from Quinn, his friends and her cousin. She doesn't really have any friends who accept her just the way she is. She can be really hard to be around because she hits or she doesn't fit in. You cannot really blame the other 3, 4 and 5 year olds - they don't know any better.

I was reading something written by another mom of a child with PTLS - Adri is the same age as Chloe. She said that her daughter is sweet, kind & loving and she feels it is because she is modeling the behaviors of her older sister, her sister's friends and her older cousins who all adore her. Is there really anyone that "adores" Chloe? Most people tolerate her, ignore her or just pay her a small bit of attention so that they can move on to other things. It's no wonder she loves therapy so much! All that attention for just her.

The dictionary defines adore as: to regard with the utmost esteem, love, and respect; honor or to like & admire very much.

Aside from her mom, dad, aunts, uncles, grandparents...is there truly anyone who adores Chloe? She doesn't have older siblings to make a big deal of her. Her big brother is only 18 months older than her. She doesn't have older cousins that live near her...her cousin is the same age and doesn't understand why Chloe can't talk like him or play like him. Explaining it to a three year old doesn't do much good.

So, when very few people adore you, how do you act? You act silly to get attention, you do naughty things so people notice you, you hit because you can't say "hey, that's mine" or "please play with me". I understand that every child is different. Maybe Adri just has a different personality. Maybe not. Maybe if you are admired, loved, respected, included, felt to be made a part of vs. left out, yelled at, pushed away, constantly corrected you naturally develop a sweeter disposition.

Is it the chicken or the egg? Is it a catch - 22? How do we fix it? How does a mommy protect her daughter while at the same time respecting the needs of the other children in her life? Do answers to these questions actually exist somewhere? Will God explain why he chose this path for Chloe's life when I stand before Him? Will he make her all better someday? Will she feel the joy of knowing that she is one of his beloved children? What would you do? I am all ears (or eyes as the case may be).

Thanks for "listening".

The Downs

Some days are ups and others are, well...downs. Today is one of the downs. We went to a fire station field trip today. It was so fun. The firemen were awesome and we got to put on uniforms, "drive" the fire trucks, etc. Quinn and Chloe loved it.

After that we went to Dublin Park with the kids and moms that went to the fire station. It started off fine. Chloe actually sat at the picnic table and ate some of her lunch. A few minutes later, I heard one boy burst into tears. Chloe kept filling his hole with sand. Just to bug him! He was working so hard digging and she continually dumped sand into his hole. As I walked up, one mom said, "I already moved you once Chloe."

This may not sound like a big deal but imagine you trying to frost a wedding cake and someone keeps sticking their finger into it and taking licks. This was Josh's masterpiece - his wedding cake. Chloe just had to ruin it, repeatedly.

Several other little things happened along the way but the final straw was when Chloe threw shovels full of dirt at one of the littler kids that was there. He was so upset, his mom wasn't too happy (Chloe has a strong arm & good aim). She also knows better! Joe called as I was leaving because being there was more stress than it was worth. I burst into tears and another mom, coming back from her car stopped me to talk about it. You get the picture.

It's is just so frustrating at times. Quinn and I (and Joe when he isn't working) are like the professional cake decorators and Chloe is always sticking her finger into our cakes. Everything we are trying to do - from cooking to building dinosaurs is 100 times harder than it needs to be. I really feel for Quinn. Today, he was punished (had to leave the park) because of his sister's behavior. I know that this happens to others too but he seems to get a disproportionate amount of "unfair" stuff.

Last night, Joe and I were doing the yard. I ran out of gas. Joe went to get some and I went to put the rake away. Chloe was told not to go near the lawnmower. Instead of listening, she proceeded to dump cups of water on it. Later that night, Quinn and I had a meeting for his school. While we were gone, the fire department and police department were here! Chloe decided to drink some hand sanitizer, despite its foul taste. She's fine.

Please pray for us. Need more ups, especially when we are in groups!

Chloe's Always Making New Friends

Yesterday we went swimming at the club to which we belong. Within minutes, Chloe had met a little girl named Kasey. They swam, ran around, played on the grass and had a blast together. While they were swimming - Chloe met Brooke. They swam and played together until they were both so cold they had to get out of the water.

Today, we stopped by a lady's house and we got to talking. Within minutes, her little girl invited Chloe into the house to play. They ended up playing outside (since we didn't know them). It is so sweet the way she befriends complete strangers in no time at all.

On a similar note...Chloe had her first playdate at our house the other night. Since my mom was here, Chloe stayed home from our Bible Study to be with Nanny. Our friends, Rich & Keri have a little girl named Lily. Lily came over to our house and the two of them jumped, ran around, went on the swings and had snacks together. A good time was had by all!!!

Lots of Progress

Chloe has been making lots of progress over the past few weeks. It's always amazing to see! She can now jump to me from across the room. She used to only jump in place. She can do a seat drop on the trampoline!!! She can walk on her tippy toes. Yesterday she swam for a few feet without her water wings. When she thought she couldn't touch, she got scared and we put the wings on but I saw her making all of the right motions and she stayed afloat!

In terms of speech - she is really doing great. My mom watched the kids last week while I was out of town for my little business. She told Chloe to go get Joe and Quinn for dinner. Chloe went upstairs and said and signed, "Ca, ea". That's come, eat! It wasn't perfect but they knew exactly what she told them to do and that's what really matters. She now says, "Nancy" and yesterday she met a new friend named "Kasey". I said, "This is Kasey" and asked Chloe if she could say Kasey and she immediately said, "Kah....see". WOW!!!

Wuh Woo

Do you remember what it sound like when your kids first said they loved you? For Quinn, it was at a pretty young age and it sounded like this, "I ud you Mommy". It sounded so sweet. Sometimes I still tell Quinn that I ud him.

For the longest time when we told Chloe that we loved her, she would respond with "Wuh". That means "Love". So, we figured she loved us too :). Most recently, she began responding with "kay". I guess it is okay with her that we love her.

Today, we practiced saying, "I love you Daddy" while she was swinging. I wanted to see if I could get her to say, "I love you Daddy" before he comes home from his "guys' weekend" of camping with Quinn and some friends/neighbors from our Bible Study group. She finally said, "Wuh Woo Dada". It wasn't altogether but it was still more than "wuh".

Maybe with a little practice - she will say, "Wah Woo Dada" to her Daddy when he gets home on Sunday night!

Used To I Didn't Like Her

During a rare moment a couple weeks ago, the kids were outside together. They were playing near each other in the pebbles under the swing set. They weren't interacting - this can be good sometimes. Nonetheless, they were next to each other playing. About the time I called them in for lunch, it started to thunder. Chloe kept playing in the rocks despite my telling her to come in for lunch. As the thunder continued, Quinn got more and more agitated by the fact that Chloe wouldn't come in. He pleaded with her, "Coco, there might be lightening coming soon." ; "Come inside now - it is thundering!" ; "Chloe, if you don't come inside you could get hurt in the storm." I wanted to see how long this would go on (does he actually care if she gets hurt?).

After a couple minutes I heard Chloe crying hysterically and saw her running to the house. Quinn came into the kitchen just before Chloe and said, "Mom, if you really want Chloe to come, you have to take her dog (a stuffed animal she was in love with for a brief period) and she will follow you. It worked.

We sat down to lunch and Quinn announced (with Chloe right across from him) - "Mommy, used to I didn't like Chloe too much but now I am getting used to her."

That's progress, right?